Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Randomize
