in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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