Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
