Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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