I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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