Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
