two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
