so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
How does one acquire holy water?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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