i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
and she was petting her beer can
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
