If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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