i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she looked like the before picture.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
