Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
