O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
