C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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