Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
