every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
