i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
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