dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
