the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I didn't notice because vodka
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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