just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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