The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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