I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he was CRYING into my vagina
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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