she woke up with a sticky ear
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
