I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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