Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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