He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
