"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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