I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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