You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize