I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
