Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
