i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
