just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
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I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
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bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions