All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
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When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
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Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible