Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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