my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
