Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
