How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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