Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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