i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize