Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
