my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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