I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
