so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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