at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
