why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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