New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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