I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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