so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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