The maid of honor just puked.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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