you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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