he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
