I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
