What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
