Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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