At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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