I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
