It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
