It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
