I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
