first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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