she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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