quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I am available for nakedness
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
